How to be a Great Chief bridesmaid

How to be a Great Chief Bridesmaid

So you’ve been asked. You’re mouth has gone slightly dry as you consider the options.

Your soul mate, best friend and confidante has asked that all important question….

‘Will you be my chief bridesmaid?’

Ok so here goes. There are loads of reasons why you should and a few reasons why you shouldn’t. You’ll turn into CB (chief bridesmaid) and that gorgeous girl who you’ve known all your life and shared some of your deepest darkest secrets with will turn into BZ (bridezilla)

Acceptable reasons for saying no are that you have a prior unmoveable engagement on the same day, an illness or disability, a pregnancy or a prior liaison with the groom.

Saying no is not acceptable when you have a deep hatred for the man she is about to marry, its her choice not yours. You don’t like the dresses chosen or you can’t afford it although that does often place you in a dilemma.

So here it is. You get the idea that this isn’t going to be an easy task. The task of chief bridesmaid can often be a tough one. It’s not just about arranging a hen night, although that is one of your key tasks. You will become United Nations as the planning progresses.

What makes a great chief bridesmaid

What makes an ideal / great chief bridesmaid is someone who is organised. You look after the bride not vice versa! No matter what disasters happen, you need to be ready to deal with them or at least divert the brides’ attention away from them. You should be enthusiastic and focused on the job in hand not too busy chasing the best man around no matter how hot he happens to be.

If you’re lucky your BZ will allow you some say in what you’re going to wear on the big day. Remember that bridesmaid dresses generally take around 4 months to prepare if you buy / hire them through a bridal boutique. The wedding gown takes around 6 months, that’s without the endless searches on the net at boutiques, designers and such and the long shopping trips.

Best advice to give your BZ is to look at some designers then check out which boutiques stock them before trailing round trying on. It’s a good point to remember with these dresses that they can look great on the model but do nothing for your girl. Same with the bridesmaid dresses. Have an open mind but be honest with BZ – she might hate you for it for a minute but when she tries THE dress on she’ll know!

If she wants sleek and satin, don’t let her look like a merangue. Trust me when she gets the dress on she’ll know it’s the right one for her. So will you if you’re lucky enough to go with her and let’s be honest, when does your best mate EVER go shopping without you!

When it comes to your dress if you want sleek and satin, OK it’s her day but do you want to really wear the neon pink polka dot number, guide her in the direction of the ideas you have. This is not the time to out shine her. This is understated and supportive of her but looking hot all the same.

Depending on budgets there are some great wedding dress designers out there. Ian Stewart is a fantastic, fairy tale princess type designer ranging from traditional feel to very contemporary dresses. They are unique. Alfred Angelo has some really beautiful dresses on offer but check out their sites and see for yourself! Ronald Joyce again has some fantastic choices it’s all about what she wants to wear, this is the most important dress of her life, indulge her!

As for bridesmaid dresses Dessy have some really nice floaty designs and Ebony Rose are a firm favourite for me when it comes to traditional dresses, for all ages. For something a little less traditional try Lou Lou bridesmaids these dresses are great and one of the good things about these contemporary little numbers is that you could wear them again if you chose to.

Chances are there will be more than just you in the brides’ party. It’s a good idea to try and get everyone together for a girly shopping trip. Make a day of it – or even 2!

Bridal Showers / Hen Nights

Let’s get to the hen night / Bridal shower.

The way I worked it out is to get her to do the guest list. Worst thing for your BZ to have is a bad atmosphere, so while you may think she gets on with a work buddy….. ask her!

Work out a couple of venues that you both think could be a good night out but ultimately – YOU – have the final say. The most popular option for shower venues is either the brides house or your house about 2 weeks before the wedding. Traditionally immediate female family members of both the bride and groom are invited plus girly friends. It’s a good idea to choose a theme then guests will have an idea of what presents to bring.

As for the hen night I like the idea of having a bit of a loud night out with the girls where you can get down and loud but then that may not work for all so a good excuse for the older guests could be a nice sedate meal out and a few drinks nearer to the wedding date – lets be fair girls while we don’t need an excuse for a night out – when we have one, all the better!

A word of warning however, whatever you decide to do, your responsibility is to ensure your bride stays in one piece, and that your event is one to remember for all the right reasons.

As far as United Nations go, we all hope that BZ has a hassle free prep time on the lead up to her big day, but sometimes things don’t go to plan. If she is having a hard time over the colour of the napkins or the last yellow mustang has been hired in the whole of the country your job is to be a strong shoulder for her to cry on, and then give her practical advice.

On the day it’s not about walking her down the aisle and drinking champers while you get ready. You are there to ensure the other maids are organised and know what they are doing and where they should be. You are her eyes and ears, however if something is going on that she doesn’t need to know about sort it! She’ll thank you if she ever finds out about it!

It’s a good idea to meet up with the best man at some stage. You both have a part to play in the big day and once the fineries are out of the way there might be the opportunity for a few practical jokes along the way. One of the main requirements on the day is for you and the best man to join the bride and groom in their first dance. That is if BZ doesn’t want you to make a speech.

The main thing is to be strong for your bride and support her all the way. Be there for her as she plans the most memorable day of her life and there’s a reason she’s chosen you!

My absolute advocate and friend while I was being CB was confetti.com. An absolutely amazing web site that gives you ALL the information you could ever need.

It gave me the ideas along with the etiquette required and even gives you ideas if BZ wants you to make a speech. A good read all in all and it actually became my bible.

Remember until she says ‘I do’ she’s YOUR bride!

Question is..... Would I do it again?